Photo by COD Newsroom / CC BY 2.0
45 minutes ago
Hey, bro. Wanna do me a solid here and proofread my essay? Yeah, just read it over and add a few suggestions or something. I’ll take a look at it once I get back from Smokes. Don’t be afraid to tear it to shreds — it’s due at midnight. Thanks, man! Later.
The Rise of Amazon: What It Means For Us
By Terry Johnson (Candidate for Master of Business Administration in Finance)
Amazon: what is it? Wikipedia calls Amazon an “American multinational technology company based in Seattle, Washington, which focuses on e-commerce, cloud computing, digital streaming, and artificial intelligence” (“Amazon”, 2021). The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines an Amazon as “a member of a race of female warriors of Greek mythology” (Merriam and Webster, 2021).
And in our modern age, I couldn’t agree more.
Amazon has risen to the cream of the crop in the past few years, and for good reason. Jeff Bezos is a really rich and important man. I wish I could be that rich and important one day. Like I always say, “we have so much we can learn from the advent of Amazon” (Me, 2021).
Just one look at Amazon’s website will prove my point. Go on, try it. At first glance, it looks like a whole bunch of twiddly buttons, deranged blurbs, and confusing symbols. But a deeper look will show you the dense, futuristic world of Amazon: colorful, playful, enjoyable. Buckle up! It’s a playground for the eyes, and my eyes wanna have some fun, baby!
Brockmann says on page 14 that “the ever-increasing conveniences of modern life will prove to be a destructive force to society” (Brockmann, 14). I respectfully disagree. Has Brockmann ever felt the thrill of ordering an Amazon Echo on their Amazon Alexa and signing off the order using their Amazon Fire 7? Probably not. Thus, I have proven that the author very likely does not have any clue what the hell he’s talking about. The evidence is clear.
At this point, you may be asking yourself: “I don’t get it???” I agree. It can take years, even for experts, to comprehend the holistic, penetrative effects of Amazon on our society. In my opinion, however, Amazon is a totally rad externality that I wouldn’t mind supporting in the future. Power to the people!
To close my essay, I ask the reader to reflect on their own experiences with Amazon, the company we all know and love. As the Founding Fathers penned over 200 years ago, “All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.”
Thank you, and I rest my case.
“Amazon.” Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. 2021.
“Amazon.” Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Merriam-Webster Dictionary. 2021.
Brockmann, Peter. Why I Hate Modernity. Scholastic Press, 2018.
Brockmann, Peter. Tradition is Like a Fine Wine Whereas Modernity is Like Stinky, Moldy Cheese in Comparison. Scholastic Press, 2019.
Brockmann, Peter. Shut the Hell Up! I’m Trying to Enjoy a Gin and Tonic Over Here. Scholastic Press, 2020.
Brockmann, Peter. Why Doesn’t My Son Want to Talk to Me Anymore? Scholastic Press, 2021.
“The Constitution of the United States: A Transcription.” Article I, Section I. National Archives, https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/constitution-transcript. Accessed 3 Mar. 2021.